© Always remember that I have taken more out of alcohol than alcohol has taken out of me.
© An alcoholic is someone you don’t like who drinks as much as you do.
© Don’t drink and drive, you might hit a bump and spill your drink.
© You’re not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on.
© Stay busy, get plenty of exercise, and don’t drink too much. Then again, don’t drink too little.
© Time is never wasted when you’re wasted all the time.
© One reason I don’t drink is that I want to know when I am having a good time.
© A meal without wine is like a day without sunshine, except that on a day without sunshine you can still get drunk.
© I stopped drinking, but only when I sleep.
© This is one of the disadvantages of wine: it makes a man mistake words for thought.
© Cigarettes and coffee: an alcoholic’s best friend !!!!
© When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.
© I hate to advocate drugs, alcohol, violence, or insanity to anyone, but they always worked for me.
© The consumption of alcohol may cause pregnancy.
© Cocaine is gods way of telling you that you make too much money.
© I like whiskey. I always did, and that is why I never drink it.
© A man who exposes himself when he is intoxicated, has not the art of getting drunk.
© Reality is a crutch for people who can’t handle drugs.
© There is a devil in every berry of the grape.
© A bartender is just a pharmacist with a limited inventory.
© I drink to forget I drink.
© I would take a bomb, but I can’t stand the noise.
© Better belly burst than good liquor be lost.
© The first glass is for myself, the second for my friends, the third for good humor, and the forth for my enemies.
© Alcohol is necessary for a man so that he can have a good opinion of himself, undisturbed be the facts.
© Once, during Prohibition, I was forced to live for days on nothing but food and water.
© The whole world is about three drinks behind.
© Prohibition may be a disputed theory, but none can say that it doesn’t hold water.
© I love cooking with wine. Sometimes I even put it in the food.
